It is without
dispute that at teenage years we all had “specs” of a guy or lady we would like
to date. I can remember discussing with my girlfriends in high school about the
kind of guys we wanted to date and we all wanted a tall, dark and handsome guy
leaving the short, fair ones to fate; lol. Every guy also wanted to date
someone like Omotola Jolade-the woman with the perfect figure and Genevieve
Nnaji-the pretty one. I can also
remember my cousin who would always say “I cannot marry a Nigerian lady but an Indian
lady”, but when reality dawned on him, he ended up marrying a Nigerian lady. As kids, we
all fantasized about our specs. Is spec limited to childhood days? certainly
not, even as adults we still have specs maybe realistic ones though. Some
people may disagree with me that they do not have specs but let us do a little
exercise to prove that we all have specs. Look at some pictures of your
ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, think back to when you dated them and answer
the following questions. Do they look the same or have similar characteristics?
What type of activities did you both enjoy? If more than often not you see a
pattern of everything being similar except names, then the similar thing is
your spec.
What is a
spec?
Spec is the
acronym for specification. Simply put a spec in this context is a preference or
attributes considered by a person when choosing a partner.
Is having a
spec a bad thing? certainly not. However, the bad thing is setting unrealistic
spec or basing your spec only on physical attributes. So many young ladies
attend Shiloh every year asking God for a partner and you will hear prayers
like Lord, I want a man who is 7feet tall, amazing body, blue eyes and a
dashing smile. Don’t get me wrong, it is not a bad thing to want all these
things in a man, however, the bad thing is setting your spec on only the
physical. A relationship requires more than the physical; a spec should be less
of the physical and more of the internal. Think about the content and not only
the package.
If you are
dating one particular spec over and over and things aren’t going well it might
be because you have fallen into a spec trap and you need to explore more. If
you have one and it is going well for you, no problem, specs are fine if you
are happy and healthy but if you keep winding up in unhappy situations, dating
outside your spec is an excellent way to expand your dating pool and
experiences.
The biggest
problem we have as human is that we date body parts for too long. The love you
deserve might not be in the package you desire, so be flexible. Let’s continue
this conversation in the comment section by answering these questions:
- What do you think about having a spec?
- Is your childhood spec different from the ones you have now?
